Gaaahhh Bah Humbug on New Years!

Ok ok I'm alright really I am...I do appreciate the "New Year" and the "fresh start" as some call it...but come on who are we kiddin', whether a year is a bad one or a good one it's not the year to be blamed, it's just life and life happens no matter what day, week, month, or year it is.

And new years resolutions are DUMB! Ha! Sorry to rain on anyone's parade but how many people do you know have EVER stuck a resolution out? Like an important one I mean? Reading the bible and exercise, and spending more time with family; those are great but it's awfully sad to think one needs a "new year" to increase something they should already be doing faithfully and if not surely should step up to the plate before having to label it a "New Years Resolution"! Gahhhh now you know MY take on resolutions. I don't dig 'em.

Right now, although there are many areas in my life that need tackling, I am in REST mode, I have spun my wheels, I've cooked my fingers off, I've sewed till I'm seeing needles and thread every minute, I've scrubbed and cleaned till I'm blue in the face, I've delivered puppies and cared for them (and still must) the last thing I need to do is tack on more chores. Hehehe...don't get me wrong, I'm still running-as I was before Jan 1, I still pray and read my bible, I'm spending time with the kids playing games and all that good stuff. The problem is I don't WANT to get back to reality just yet. The holidays came and went so fast for me I'm still sort of savoring them and reflecting.

I'm making a plan though, that I am. I'm making a plan for next year. A very precise and thought out plan to ensure full enjoyment of the season no matter what. Believe it or not, Ava and I began a project for a gift for next year! No longer will I procrastinate and find myself frantically sewing and scrambling for gifts. Nope.

So in a sense I guess you could say I'm moving on but I'm not going to commit to being happy about it.

Let me add one more thing that I am going to delve much deeper into in the next few weeks. For some strange reason, the New Year hoopla does not bring me sheer joy and happiness. While I can enjoy the idea for a bit, it very often triggers a serious feeling of panic and anxiety. I know it's ridiculous because sadly, the holidays do as well. But that, I must say, is my own fault. It's my own fault for not preparing and planning like I should and allowing things to pile up on me in an overwhelming manner. So, this anxiousness I tend to experience after its all said and done is cultivated by the hullabaloo people create regarding "fresh starts" etc....I get worried that I will make a plan, try to change something drastic, and FAIL. Yep, me, the wonder woman...I fear failing. It doesn't mean I don't start new plans or try anything new; I'm just saying I struggle with anxiety over these seemingly petty, yet so important things. Over plans and the thought of trying to fix something needing fixing in my world.

Okay, enough about anxiety because like I said I'm going to cover that in depth very soon and I don't want to spoil my plan. But I said all of that to simply interject my opposition of resolutions and the END of the holiday season.

Give me a week or two and I'm sure I'll bounce back to my regular super girl self but today I'm just a muddle of mess.

I love you all and thank you for letting me be me. :)