Hmmm and you're like "So?" Well, these fish are not ordinary fish and they were very unplanned fish but I have to tell you about how they came to belong to my son Chandler.
We were at Wal-Mart right??? Okay, I hate Wal-Mart because I always spend bookoos of money there-I'm supposed to be saving by going there but I can NEVER get out under $100.00. (same with Costco) ANYHOW, we are going down the shampoo aisle getting NECESSITIES but the shampoo aisle is so conveniently placed right next to the fish tanks and EVERY time we go down that aisle I am incessantly bombarded witht he question "Can I get a fish?" (((Sigh))) I do so despise saying "No not this time" ALL the time so I mulled it over in my mind a bit as fish are not too expensive and I rallied with,"Well, okay but I think it would be best if we bought the fish for your classroom at school". That went over much better than I anticipated as Chandler visualized himself as the great hero of his classroom. So. He picks out a beautiful nice sized goldfish. We let Caeden pick out a .28 cent feeder fish. We have them in the bag. Now the new question is,"Can I carry the bag by myself?" I know you think I am so insane... Me, the kindhearted sensitive mommy that I am-I just KNOW Chandler's desire to show his fish off to anyone who will look his way-soooo-I-said------"Sure!!!! But be VEEEEEEERY careful or something may happen!!! You never know what!!!(in this case of course we DID know what could happen but, ahem, you got to know me by now, alittle on the dingy side.) I figured I would watch him EVER so carefully and I DID and he did GREAT!!!! You should have seen his beaming face each time someone would smile at him and say,"Wow! I like your fish!" It was so worth it. SO meanwhile, back in reality, I glance at my watch and realize I have less than 15 minutes to get to the register, purchase my cartful, exit the store and get in the car to go pick up big sis from school. Oh!!! We have to hurry guys!!! So we head to the oh so wonderful new SELF-CHECKOUTS we now have in our so modern Wally World(a WHOLE blog in itself-I HATE those things but they always look so much more inviting than the line that trails into the photo department) (((Sigh))) I actually made it through the process without any hang-ups can you believe it!!! I scanned the fish without a glich and handed them back to my dear sweet boy and instructed him AGAIN on his careful handling of the bag...I am now sliding my debit card through the slot...we are almost DONE with this creepy place when SPLAT...my foot and lower leg are drenched with OH MY GOD...FISH WATER!!!!!! I don't even WANT to look down but I do and there they are flopping all over the floor AT THE CHECKOUT STAND!!!!!!!! I really thought I was going to go bonkers that very moment. I raised my hand like a silly schoolgirl and yelled,"I need some help over here!!!" Oh it was such a moment in time. I got the help I needed-the girl came and scooped up the fish and they put them in a new bag and we were on our way!!! Can you guess who carried the fish bag out to the car??? You guessed!!! Um, I really can't blame a 6 year old for a busted fishbag can I?
Our mission is to help parents and teachers to prepare our little arrows to approach life with bravery and courage; to love learning and God's Word, and to be given the tools to grow and develop into strong individuals, in body, soul, and spirit.
5.05.2005
4.18.2005
Happy Birthday Chandler!!!
6 years old!!! I can't believe it buddy!!! My little "Caboy" is growing up!!! Front teeth missin' and all you're still the cutest cowboy Mommy knows!!! I gotta tell what happened this morning-"birthday morning"-I sent Chandler to the bathroom to brush his teeth, soon thereafter I sent his older sister to do the same. When she went in, I heard the motherly tone of voice she so often embraces, inquiring "What are you DOING???" The soft answer was a voice hoping Mommy wouldn't hear, "Shaving"...Ahem...I enter the scene...I could not contain my laughter, the little guy had shaving cream plastered ALL over his face, his school clothes had dollops of it here and there as well. It was quite a kodak moment I can assure you!!! Maybe we'll post a picture of that sooner or later. Anyhow, he was quite perturbed I didn't allow him to continue
as he insisted he "knew how to do it".
(((Sigh))) I'm so glad shaving days are not really here yet...I don't want to even GO THERE!!! For now, I'll settle for unbrushed teeth now and then, dirty undies stuffed under the bed and little army guys all over the floor. Chandler you are mama's biggest prince-I love you dearly and hope that not only your birthday is filled with joy but that your whole life is blessed beyond measure.
You have truly brought your mommy pure happiness. 
3.22.2005
Lovey mine
This is the sweetest lullaby I sing to the little dollbaby...
"Cuddle up a little closer Lovey mine
Cuddle up and be my little clinging vine
Love to feel your cheeks so rosy
Love to make you comfy cozy
Cause I love from head to toesy
Lovey mine!!!"
Isn't it precious??? Tonight is windy and stormy outside...I can't sleep therefore I am blogging about my baby.
Ava, you darling little butterball you!!! You are my sunshine!!! I can't believe how quickly you are growing. I can't squeeze you and kiss you enough! I love your little gurgly laugh...I love how you pump your arms and legs when you are excited...I love how you gaze at your daddy in wonder and admiration-you're a daddy's girl we know!!! You amaze me everyday with your sweetness.
"Cuddle up a little closer Lovey mine
Cuddle up and be my little clinging vine
Love to feel your cheeks so rosy
Love to make you comfy cozy
Cause I love from head to toesy
Lovey mine!!!"
Isn't it precious??? Tonight is windy and stormy outside...I can't sleep therefore I am blogging about my baby.
Ava, you darling little butterball you!!! You are my sunshine!!! I can't believe how quickly you are growing. I can't squeeze you and kiss you enough! I love your little gurgly laugh...I love how you pump your arms and legs when you are excited...I love how you gaze at your daddy in wonder and admiration-you're a daddy's girl we know!!! You amaze me everyday with your sweetness.
3.19.2005
It's the chubby arms I like best!!!
Don't ya wish you could kiss her???
She is 6 months old and the joy of our lives...you'd never know she was a preemie-from 5lbs 4oz. to a whopping 17lbs 14oz!!!!! She is off the charts in height and in the 95th % in weight! Better slow down chickie!!! We are so thankful for this beautiful child God has so graciously given us.
1.24.2005
Homesick...this is for Michele
Song by Mercy Me on "Undone" Album
You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
...in loving memory of our friend, Tiry Ray Scott.
Graduated with honors from this life January 14th 2005
Left behind...a gorgeous wife, Michele, three stunning daughters, Chelsea 12, Alli 10 and Dakota 7.
AND TONS of friends and family... he will never be gone from our thoughts and hearts.
1.15.2005
Bacon and eggs...in Heaven!!!
That is what Ty Scott is feasting on today I am sure!!! He is no longer suffering, his body is healed and he is HAPPY!!! We are sad that he is gone but his gorgeous smile and loving heart will FOREVER live in ours. I don't think he ever knew the meaning of the word "rest" so I won't say "rest in peace", instead I will say, "Fix our mansions up for us Tiry...remodel them till they are better than even God can do!!!" I know he would be thrilled to do it and Heaven is a perfect place where we can do what we want right??? So have at it Ty...you got all the tools you need!!! We will be anxiously awaiting the day we see you again...
Dakota said, "Did you hear about my Dad? He died." I answered, "Yes honey I did but you know he's in Heaven now right? He's not sick anymore!" She says,"Yeah, and he's like,"Why are ya'll cryin' down there?" He's like sayin' "Let's have a party!!!"".
1.13.2005
Our spirits are willing...but our flesh is weak
I haven't blogged in awhile...that is because everytime I begin to search myself for something worthy of blogging about, I get all emotional and tweaked out about "things". I serve a BIG God...one that will NEVER let me down. Of that I am sure of. Nevertheless, my flesh is weak. Not because of my recent illness or treatment either. It's because my heart is so heavy for the one's I love who are facing extreme unfortunate circumstances right this very minute. I don't know what tomorrow holds for me-but right now I am carrying the burden of my friend's impending death. I cannot avoid blogging about it anymore. Don't get me wrong, where there is life there is hope and I believe in miracles. I would not be surprised one bit if God decided to raise Ty up and he were to ask for bacon and eggs. Until that happens though, I have to reflect on what is actually happening right now. That is the fact that he is dying. It hurts to type those words. I can truly say however, that Ty is ministering to SO many peope right now. His life is such an incredible example for us all. I was remembering that just a few weeks ago (actually about 2 months-it just seems like weeks) when I dropped Chelsea off or something, Ty came out to my truck and said "Hey partner!!!" Of course I was like "hey!!!" and we talked for a bit you know but what I was thinking was "you know we ARE partners in all of this"...some people would tell me,"no you're not because you're not facing the same battle he is" and no I may not be and no I don't want to either but rather than look at his circumstances as hopeless, I look at him as a total pillar of HOPE...I really mean that. It may not be hope to live forever but it is hope that no matter what we face, we are able to endure. He is a true picture of that hope. I don't anticipate having the same situation but I do know that if I do...I will ALWAYS be able to "be partners" with Ty and Michele. And so the title of this blog "our spirits are willing but our flesh is weak". We are willing to trod the path He has chosen for us...our flesh may get in the way with its weakness but we will overcome any and all obstacles we come against. Michele and I are planning a cancer booty-kicking Half Dome climb in the spring...
12.18.2004
12.13.2004
12.11.2004
What Cancer Cannot Do
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit
This is my friend Tiry Scott...he is a genuine example of one who has not allowed the degrading, ravaging and invading disease we call cancer to reduce or diminish his zest for life and his absolute love for his family, friends, church and his faith in God. He is a pillar of strength no matter what his state of health is. Always positive, uplifting and concerned about those around him rather than himself. He is truly an inspiration for anyone faced with uncertainty. When life handed Ty one of the worst possible scenarios, he has chosen to live life to the absolute fullest, never wavering or breaking, just always plodding faithfully forward, trusting his Maker in complete submission.
You are a hero Ty!!!
You are MORE than a Conqueror!!!
"We shall believe the report of the Lord"
11.14.2004
Our little monkey
Just look at this little monkey we found!!! Isn't he the cutest you've ever seen??? Caeden ADORES his new baby sister...everytime he sees her he has a little word he says in a teeny tiny high pitched voice, "rah! rah!". It is so funny, I know it looks to you like a tiger sound or something but its not is really soft and sweet!!!
The other day, he was HANGING on the refrigerater door crying for something he wanted that was in there...I asked him what he wanted and he kept saying the funniest word. It was "oily-oh, oily-oh!" I opened the door to see what in the world he was talking about...this oily-oh stuff... Duh!!! CANTALOUPE!!!! Should have known Mom!!!
And yesterday, I went out for awhile and left him with Daddy...when I got home, Daddy told me that Caeden had disappeared for awhile and freaked him out! He said he looked EVERYWHERE for the little booger and he was NO WHERE!!! However, when he would call his name he would hear him say "huh?", EXCEPT when he called him in his room that Caeden shares with Chandler. Well, by and by, (I'm in storytelling mode) he went back into the boys' room and there on the TOP bunk, staring at him between the poles of the guard rail were two little eyes that belonged to the missing person!!! Daddy was soooo relieved of course and we laughed so hard we couldn't scold him...he's NOT allowed up on the top bunk you know...there is not even a ladder to get up there for that very reason!!! Monkey boy figured out how to scale the end of the bed. That's why he wouldn't answer Doug when he was in the room-he really didn't want to get caught!!!
He's really cute though I promise...makes me laugh all the time. My kids bring me so much joy!!!
11.12.2004
Ya know...I used to love hats, as you can see...
As of right now, I still like them but they have definitely a found a different place in my heart/wardrobe. I used to consider them an instant touch of glamour...my cheap shot at looking great without much effort. I still use them for that but its much more begrudgingly now. Its hard to coordinate EVERY outfit with a cute hat...especially maternity clothes. NOW especially "clothes you wear when you can't fit into your pre-prego clothes". It's really quite a challenge!!!
Since some of my friends have been describing their hair loss experiences lately, I thought I would add my story as well.
I want to warn those of you who love and care about me SO much that the truth about my feelings and emotions is difficult for you to bear not to read any further. If you have trouble with these feelings you have my permission to avoid facing these realities without hurting me. I do understand. Hopefully, if you are reading this, you know me well enough to understand I'm not on a pity party...really this is to share my experience WITH my friends who love and care about me not those who are merely curious. Anyway, here goes my first attempt at exposing my feelings beyond day to day living...
I had hair past my waist and had so since a child and short hair had never been "me" much less none at all. I knew the time had come for the hair falling out session. I also knew that I did not want my kids to see it coming out in huge clumps everywhere. I decided it was going to come out all at once-while they were sleeping. I had talked to them about it explaining the fact that Mommy had to take some really strong medicine that had some funny side effects. One of those being losing my hair of course. I told them I would wear lots of cute hats and bandanas and that my hair would grow back soon. They both seemed just fine with the idea...in fact, Chandler still thinks I wear the things to KEEP my hair from falling out...hmmm, I just go along with it!!!So, back to the big night. I told my husband he was going to have to help me and we got started. First he started brushing it all out. Clumps were coming out but we could tell that with all the hair I had and the length that it was we were going to be busy a looooooong time. So, I braided my hair in one big thick braid and I put a rubber band at the top and the bottom then my hubby hacked it off. I couldn't believe it. It felt so awful to have that hacked looking hair to hang down the sides of my face. Then he shaved the rest of my head while my face was buried in my arms and I sobbed and sobbed the whole time. It makes me cry to think back...I had my "warm sleep cap" in my hand for when he was done and I put it on before I would look up at him. I just couldn't bear the thought of him seeing me-I felt so humiliated. He made me though...he kissed me and told me I was cute. He said I looked like a movie star. I bawled even more at the love he was able to pour out on me. He just kept kissing my tears and telling me it was okay, he still loved me. He didn't deserve this to happen to him. I did look up once during the whole deal and saw my beautiful braid laying there and I yelled for him to take it away, that I did not want to sit there staring at it. I think it took me 2-3 weeks before I would even look at myself in the mirror. I know alot of people take this part as a fun sort of adventure and I admire them for that however, that was not how I was able to handle it. My hair had been my identity it seemed for quite a long time. It really made the whole thing so much more of a reality...I would look in the mirror and think,"I really am sick, this really happened to me". The good news is "THIS TOO SHALL PASS...and JOY cometh in the morning" and I knew I wouldn't always be like that.
I honestly looked forward to losing my hair as I anticipated the fun hats and bandanas etc. but I did not anticipate the trauma that I experienced during the process. I'm glad we did it the way we did...Since I had told my children I was going to lose my hair, the next day I had a hat on and I was like,"Hey guys, it happened, okay let's get ready for school!!!"
It was still hard...I felt like everyone would be staring and giving me pity parties and I don't like that sort of attention. Being pregnant at the same time I was so paranoid...felt like I looked like a tick ya know??? I found bucket style hats to be the best cuz they hide the sideburn and upper neck area the best. Of course I ALWAYS wear a bandana UNDER the hats-just in case its a blustery day or my 21 month old tries to yank...wouldn't that be a sight!!! The bandanas help the hats to stay on better anyhow-kind of takes the place of hair with the knot in the back-its kind of like a little bun/ponytail.
Well, now I am nearing the end of my treatments and my hair is already growing back!!! I can see light at the end of the tunnel!!! Right now Ava and I are racing to see who can grow hair the fastest. Hey, maybe by her 1st birthday we can both have pigtails!!!
Since some of my friends have been describing their hair loss experiences lately, I thought I would add my story as well.
I want to warn those of you who love and care about me SO much that the truth about my feelings and emotions is difficult for you to bear not to read any further. If you have trouble with these feelings you have my permission to avoid facing these realities without hurting me. I do understand. Hopefully, if you are reading this, you know me well enough to understand I'm not on a pity party...really this is to share my experience WITH my friends who love and care about me not those who are merely curious. Anyway, here goes my first attempt at exposing my feelings beyond day to day living...
I had hair past my waist and had so since a child and short hair had never been "me" much less none at all. I knew the time had come for the hair falling out session. I also knew that I did not want my kids to see it coming out in huge clumps everywhere. I decided it was going to come out all at once-while they were sleeping. I had talked to them about it explaining the fact that Mommy had to take some really strong medicine that had some funny side effects. One of those being losing my hair of course. I told them I would wear lots of cute hats and bandanas and that my hair would grow back soon. They both seemed just fine with the idea...in fact, Chandler still thinks I wear the things to KEEP my hair from falling out...hmmm, I just go along with it!!!So, back to the big night. I told my husband he was going to have to help me and we got started. First he started brushing it all out. Clumps were coming out but we could tell that with all the hair I had and the length that it was we were going to be busy a looooooong time. So, I braided my hair in one big thick braid and I put a rubber band at the top and the bottom then my hubby hacked it off. I couldn't believe it. It felt so awful to have that hacked looking hair to hang down the sides of my face. Then he shaved the rest of my head while my face was buried in my arms and I sobbed and sobbed the whole time. It makes me cry to think back...I had my "warm sleep cap" in my hand for when he was done and I put it on before I would look up at him. I just couldn't bear the thought of him seeing me-I felt so humiliated. He made me though...he kissed me and told me I was cute. He said I looked like a movie star. I bawled even more at the love he was able to pour out on me. He just kept kissing my tears and telling me it was okay, he still loved me. He didn't deserve this to happen to him. I did look up once during the whole deal and saw my beautiful braid laying there and I yelled for him to take it away, that I did not want to sit there staring at it. I think it took me 2-3 weeks before I would even look at myself in the mirror. I know alot of people take this part as a fun sort of adventure and I admire them for that however, that was not how I was able to handle it. My hair had been my identity it seemed for quite a long time. It really made the whole thing so much more of a reality...I would look in the mirror and think,"I really am sick, this really happened to me". The good news is "THIS TOO SHALL PASS...and JOY cometh in the morning" and I knew I wouldn't always be like that.
I honestly looked forward to losing my hair as I anticipated the fun hats and bandanas etc. but I did not anticipate the trauma that I experienced during the process. I'm glad we did it the way we did...Since I had told my children I was going to lose my hair, the next day I had a hat on and I was like,"Hey guys, it happened, okay let's get ready for school!!!"
It was still hard...I felt like everyone would be staring and giving me pity parties and I don't like that sort of attention. Being pregnant at the same time I was so paranoid...felt like I looked like a tick ya know??? I found bucket style hats to be the best cuz they hide the sideburn and upper neck area the best. Of course I ALWAYS wear a bandana UNDER the hats-just in case its a blustery day or my 21 month old tries to yank...wouldn't that be a sight!!! The bandanas help the hats to stay on better anyhow-kind of takes the place of hair with the knot in the back-its kind of like a little bun/ponytail.
Well, now I am nearing the end of my treatments and my hair is already growing back!!! I can see light at the end of the tunnel!!! Right now Ava and I are racing to see who can grow hair the fastest. Hey, maybe by her 1st birthday we can both have pigtails!!!
11.11.2004
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